Sunday, March 17, 2013

Who Are You?


This little trope was making the blog-rounds a while back, and I was fortunate to be tagged.  I haven't really had much time to write a post lately, what with leaving my husband and regaining my sanity and learning to "tough-love" my daughter without people thinking I'm a monster (like I give a fuck, well, yeah, I desperately give a fuck).  But I digress.  

Anyway.  Here are some questions, the answers to which will make a blog post, which I definitely need right now.  The things I'm thinking about these days are too complicated and take too much focus and it's all I can do to keep getting up at dawn and race around doing everythingeverythingeverything because it's tax season oh and did I mention I left home and my daughter ran off to live with her boyfriend in a rusted-out Caddy?  

So.  Um.  Yeah.

1.  Where were you born?  
In a hospital.  I can't say any more than that.  You guys really can't know anything about me.  It's in the terms of my contract with Witness Protection.

2.  Were you named after someone?    
My paternal grandmother.  Right down to the middle name.  So that I had to have "II" after my name before I got married.  I am not fucking kidding.

3.  How many children do you have?  
Three.  Well.  Four, I guess.  Emotional age?  I’m gonna go with four.

4.  How many pets? 
There are two dogs whom I love more than I love most people and I am very fortunate to be the human that they have.

5.  What's the worst injury you ever sustained?  
A broken heart?  No.  No real injuries of any kind.  No real physical ones.  YOU know.

6.  Do you have any special talents?  
When I'm not curled up under my bed in the fetal position, I am the funniest, smartest and best writer in the known universe.  I mean, you know, no.

7.  Favorite thing to bake?   
Brownies.  Do not leave me alone with that pan.

8.  Favorite food?  
God.  Everything.   Pick a continent.  Any continent.  I like food from there (hey, melted snow is water and I love water).  But put Brussels sprouts on my plate and I will bitchslap you into the middle of next week.

9.  Would you bungee jump?  
In the words of Woody Allen, "Not even if it would help the space program."

10.  What is the first thing you notice about people?  
Whether they like me.  I can spot that a mile away.

11.  When was the last time you cried? 
ZOMFG DO YOU LIKE KNOW ME AT ALL YES I'M YELLING

12.  Any current worries? 
see above

13.  Name 3 drinks you drink regularly.
Coffee.
Vodka.
Coke Zero.  

14.  What's your favorite book? 
Mine.  As soon as I write it.

15.  Would you like to be a pirate?   
What kind of stupid question is that?  Isn't this a job interview?

16.  Favorite smells?  
TOP OF THE BABY'S HEAD YES I'M YELLING AGAIN

17.  Why do you blog?
Because there are a lot of people talking in my head and if I write down some of what they say, they seem calmer overall.  Plus I love to make you guys laugh or at least go -- whoa, that bitch be cray.  Funny.  But cray.

18.  What song do you want played at your funeral?
Wow.  I never thought about it.  Put that on my bucket list.  I'm really going to have to cross that one off, though, or it's going to be awfully quiet up in that bitch.

19.  What is your favorite thing about yourself?
"My sense of humor. It's gotten me through lots of hard times throughout my life, I'm seriously my own best friend...I can make myself laugh better than any of my friends."  My friend It's Cool To Be OCD wrote that in his version of this blog post.  So I'd like to thank him for saving me the time.  ME TOO GUESS WHAT YELLING YEAH YOU KNOW ME

20.  Favorite hobby?
I used to have hobbies.  Now I have Facebook.  Draw your own conclusions.

(Meh.  I do have hobbies.  I love music.  I like to run with my dogs.  I like to swim.  I like to go camping.  For serious.)

21.  Name something you've done, you never thought you would do?
I've left my husband.  I never thought I would do that in a million years.  Which is pretty silly because who lives long enough to find out what they would do in a million years?  That's just crazy talk, pure and simple.

22.  What do you look for in a friend? 
If you could scratch my back, right  . .  THERE . . .  that'd be peachy.   I’m sorry.  You were saying?

23.  Favorite fun things to do?
I love live music.  But I hate crowds.  So I like little supper clubs and jazz bars and if the Black Keys would drop in one day here at the office, I wouldn't say no to a little impromptu concert.

24.  Pet peeves? 
ZOMFG DO YOU LIKE KNOW ME AT ALL THERE'S THAT CAPS LOCK AGAIN

25.  What's the last thing that made you laugh? 
What's the last thing that *didn't* make me laugh is a fairer question.

Now you.  If you're a blogger that reads my blog, consider yourself tagged. 
And now we wait.  



11 comments:

  1. God, how I've missed THIS lady! Thank you, doll.

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  2. Love it, might be tempted to answer them myself.

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  3. Number ten is my exact answer. And because of this super power I know immediately. So I continue to talk and talk and talk to them until they get all uncomfortable and walk away. And in my head I'm like "HAHA I WIN"

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  4. Thought I would play too!

    1. Where were you born?
    Ohio.

    2. Were you named after someone?
    Moms best friend, my great grandmother and middle name my grandmother

    3. How many children do you have?
    One

    4. How many pets? Two kitties, sisters that are 2 years old we adopted

    5. What's the worst injury you ever sustained?
    Stepping in a hole at band camp (yes..BANDCAMP!)

    6. Do you have any special talents?
    Multi-tasking at a level of which must be seen to be believed

    7. Favorite thing to bake?
    Peanut Butter Cheesecake, with Oreo crust!

    8. Favorite food?
    All

    9. Would you bungee jump?
    Not even on a cold day in hell

    10. What is the first thing you notice about people?
    Eyes....you can read a person immediately from their eyes

    11. When was the last time you cried?
    Real? or the fake one so I get my way and make someone feel bad??? Can't remember!!!


    12. Any current worries?
    BWHAHAHAHAHA, really???? So many you would think I made them up if you didn't know me

    13. Name 3 drinks you drink regularly.
    Coffee, water, diet ginger ale


    14. What's your favorite book?
    Gone with the Wind


    15. Would you like to be a pirate?
    OH...the people I have on a list to walk the plank!!! So, YES


    16. Favorite smells?
    Lemon

    17. Why do you blog?
    I don't blog, I can't put the words on paper because they could then be used against me.

    18. What song do you want played at your funeral?
    I'm to sexy


    19. What is your favorite thing about yourself?
    My sense of humor too, though I have been called slightly twisted (OK, VERY twisted)

    20. Favorite hobby?
    Napping

    21. Name something you've done, you never thought you would do?
    I got fat. My mom was fat, I said I would never get fat and then the stress hit and I got fat.

    22. What do you look for in a friend?
    Kindness and LOYALTY


    23. Favorite fun things to do?
    Smoke cigarettes, but I gave it up a year ago, so now, napping

    24. Pet peeves?
    Bitchy people/people with agendas, I don't have time or effort for that shit.

    25. What's the last thing that made you laugh?
    I'm certain it was something I said, I crack myself up all the time.

    LOVE YOU KLONNIE!!! Keep on keepin' on!

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    Replies
    1. Gawd~~~I can relate to you in SO many ways =/
      Keep on blogging....I love how you are able to express the good and/or awful so eloquently. LYLAS
      NAMASTE

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  5. 9. Would you bungee jump?
    In the words of Woody Allen, "Not even if it would help the space program."

    You are my sunshine, my favorite crazy sunshine.

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  6. Klony
    I just have to tell you that I LOVE (YES, I'M YELLING) what you have to say. And You Are Funny.
    I found you on Facebook almost a year ago and have followed you ever since. I also have taken Klonopin for the last 9 years.
    And since i took one about 30 minutes ago, I really can't remember what else I wanted to say.
    Sincerely,
    Jen

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  7. My answer to every request today is going to be "Not even if it would help the space program"

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  8. Having a little time and clarity (I did not say sanity) to post this shows maybe the whirlwind is slowing a little. It's good to see you back in your blog, and on your page. - Missy

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  9. My favorite answer of yours:

    10. What is the first thing you notice about people?

    Whether they like me. I can spot that a mile away.

    i consider myself spotted.

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