tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post7149663802435019321..comments2023-12-11T23:17:39.356-08:00Comments on The Klonopin Chronicles: What Mania Means to MeThe Klonopin Chronicleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09000707731307885384noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-49235632718503413922015-02-20T10:55:46.332-08:002015-02-20T10:55:46.332-08:00This is a wonderful blog.This is a wonderful blog.That Old Broadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14259789025472729542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-20024203126493811402013-12-29T19:33:43.701-08:002013-12-29T19:33:43.701-08:00Angela, for me it took life changes and drug chang...Angela, for me it took life changes and drug changes.<br /><br /> The past two years I was a robot. I was miserable. I didn't want to die, I just wanted to cease to exist as I have heard other people say. I am hyper active and for two years, I laid on the couch, worked, slept and my mind was completely quiet for the first time in my life. I felt nothing ever. Then I lost my job (again) and I got manic. I always get manic when bad things happen. I started my own cleaning company and I guess I am still manic because I feel happy. I smile, I fix my hair and my make up. I feel good about what I look like. When I feel happy or at the very least don't feel sad, I try to figure out what is different? Well, right now, I have no personal relationships with anyone. I work, and I shop. Im redecorating my house and that is pretty much all I have in my life. For me its strange. I have always been an extremely social person. But the older I get the voice in my head that tells me I don't belong is louder than my desire to be social. I call this terminal aloneness. I am in a room, surrounded by people who love me, and that voice in my head drowns everything else out. So for me, I guess the key to happiness is work and shop, at least till I go broke, LOL. <br />guccigirl56https://www.blogger.com/profile/07479797022809538625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-2611521019045363712013-12-29T07:23:36.387-08:002013-12-29T07:23:36.387-08:00It's been said above. Exactly how it is. I...It's been said above. Exactly how it is. I'm so relieved I'm not alone being a pompous ass. But wow, was it amazing! TY, K. <3RaeofDarknesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18318268887655342801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-26261635329215966022013-12-27T21:06:05.208-08:002013-12-27T21:06:05.208-08:00What do ya do when you can't get out of that &...What do ya do when you can't get out of that "in-between" stage? You're not happy, you're not sad. Kinda feels like boredom only you don't want to go anywhere...Angela Ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09779096875306487143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-83655453462601978122013-12-27T13:19:53.100-08:002013-12-27T13:19:53.100-08:00This was perfect timing for me as I'm going th...This was perfect timing for me as I'm going through a tough bought of depression now and have dealt with it since I was a teenager. Your description of just "not wanting to be here anymore" is exactly how I feel. The only suicidal feelings I have are wishing I could make myself and everything else just go away. I do know this feeling will pass too - it's simply just hard to go through. Thank you for sharing your experience and all the other comments. Helps a little.Alaynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15805672109456159544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-90740212326269847652013-11-11T16:30:24.612-08:002013-11-11T16:30:24.612-08:00I can completely relate to this post! I can completely relate to this post! tandlaguilera420https://www.blogger.com/profile/15535880383648125001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-31846133856573592492013-10-04T07:50:52.882-07:002013-10-04T07:50:52.882-07:00You have described the depression perfectly--"...You have described the depression perfectly--"I don't want to die. I just want not to be here." I'm not the only one who feels this way, and I'm so glad you could put that feeling into words. Thanks for that. telizabeth2002https://www.blogger.com/profile/05405326292286855292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-72225018520366853342013-10-03T17:28:02.216-07:002013-10-03T17:28:02.216-07:00Thank you for sharing that. I can't imagine. I...Thank you for sharing that. I can't imagine. I've only felt the lows of depression and it's easy to want to stop that noise.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15170306739961711124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-88231730884678569872013-10-03T14:37:34.946-07:002013-10-03T14:37:34.946-07:00Perfect. I sent your blog to so many of my loved ...Perfect. I sent your blog to so many of my loved ones that often ask, "What does it feel like?" (They have known better than to ask while I'm manic, that's why they're still my friends) So many people that are bipolar are also absolutely genius, so it's not that far of a stretch. We ARE smart. We ARE funny. But bionic we are not, no matter how we feel ~ :) So - great blog. I feel blessed to have read it, and shared it with others who wonder. You're the bestest.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-28144220709897424382012-12-31T06:55:29.964-08:002012-12-31T06:55:29.964-08:00I love your blog and your facebook page. I have s...I love your blog and your facebook page. I have schizo-affective bipolar type, which basically means I'm between diagnoses. For a while I was bipolar one with psychotic symptoms.I also have a handful of other diagnoses, but whatever, I take my meds and stay in the middle. Yesterday was a bad anxiety day. so I took my klonopin and ended up on the couch asleep at 6:30. But anyway, Thanks for sharing and normalizing things for me, for us.katwj76https://www.blogger.com/profile/07575863149047476083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-11363055885296055682012-12-31T05:17:17.309-08:002012-12-31T05:17:17.309-08:00I can't adequately express how vindicated I fe...I can't adequately express how vindicated I feel now that I finally got to check your blog and read this! Kudos to you for dealing with dealing your bipolarness! And yes, hahaha! - you read that right.<br /><br />Wonderfully written! I know of your moments of soaring genius, your trials, your regets, and your plummets to places lower than low. Thanks for making me feel with intensity, I have been in a very numb place, and it's not really fun here. But it's a familiar neighborhood. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17843152151873132256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-41927033718223837042012-06-08T14:18:58.347-07:002012-06-08T14:18:58.347-07:00I also am bipolar and deal with depression so I ca...I also am bipolar and deal with depression so I can relate alot of what you are saying. Currently I am not any meds (anymore) with doctors consent and such because me and my husband are trying to have a baby. After 3 years of having meds to help control my ups and downs this last year has been pretty rough on me and my husband. Its .. refreshing i suppose is the word to read your blog and know that I am not alone.Unintended Chaoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16563994131482512058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-78141083356487680442012-05-06T11:36:25.367-07:002012-05-06T11:36:25.367-07:00I love your blog! I'm 40 and have dealt with d...I love your blog! I'm 40 and have dealt with depression my whole life. There is depression on both sides of my family, my paternal grandmother was what we would today call bi-polar and her manic episodes were almost schizophrenic, yet it was never talked about. I found out in my late teens early 20's that my Aunt had herself tested for schizophrenia because of it being genetic. I am so happy that there are people out there talking about their Mental Illness, it helps to know someone else feels/thinks like you do. To know that you aren't alone and that it will pass is sometimes the best medicine. Your blog and some others like yours helped me recently get through a recent bout of the worst episode of depression I've ever had. I wasn't "sad", I just didn't care. It helped to read that other people know what I meant by that and that it can be "normal" for people like us to be that way. Ok, I'm done rambling, sorry, small burst of the talkative. The most important thing I wanted to say was just that simple "Thank-You".Shelley71https://www.blogger.com/profile/06965311376473308540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-38193891957529990382012-04-24T21:18:18.484-07:002012-04-24T21:18:18.484-07:00I just found you. I found you on The mind of a bip...I just found you. I found you on The mind of a bipolar guy's page on Facebook. I read your blog. Outstanding job. I must learn to harness this power. I just got out of the hospital. My new doc was playing around with my meds, weaning me off lithium and putting me on Limictal. I started swinging so bad I ended up in the hospital. I also take Klonipin. Xanax is better but too habit forming and most doctors in VA, Al and NC wont perscribe it. Klonipin works just fine if taken as presribed. Looking forward to future post My name is Cindy, I am S/W/F/47/NCAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-64671371797856441122012-04-08T18:49:59.130-07:002012-04-08T18:49:59.130-07:00This is the first time in my life someone has been...This is the first time in my life someone has been able to put the blender full of emotions that is stuck on puree that is my mind and explained it. Thank you! Thank you for your strength, your willingness to share, and for your words.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-36232836146738573532012-04-04T05:42:52.547-07:002012-04-04T05:42:52.547-07:00It's really refreshing to c others that feel l...It's really refreshing to c others that feel like I do..... I don't know "normal" (the norm for others) I know if I let myself ping to high there's going to b an uncontrolable low to follow. Btw I love pinging!! :) If I get upset or pissed off I WILL shut down and be non functional for at least a week. I've been medicated/unmedicated for yrs but after truly losing it 4 yrs ago March and having to be hospitalized for 2 wks I decided meds werent so bad! hell I couldn't even sit up and converse with u, I wanted to change drs so they told me I would have to fill out some forms (@the hospital) I could not even write my own name much less fill out forms. Anyway... love the blog!!! journaling is a good thing and blogging rocks!!!! (U get responces LOL)learnin2letgohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13261959051954132152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-53014524407437050392012-04-04T05:13:33.747-07:002012-04-04T05:13:33.747-07:00Wow. Great description of the way it feels, both d...Wow. Great description of the way it feels, both depression and mania. Sigh. Thank you for being real and telling it like it is. <br /><br />Namaste.<br /><br />http://runningfromhellwithel.comEl Phoenixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15852928942787923550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-82292511039307294052012-03-03T18:33:54.936-08:002012-03-03T18:33:54.936-08:00I love your blog! Honesty at its' best! Than...I love your blog! Honesty at its' best! Thank you!Dustye Shefferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02008011599613635945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-90935607320584015422012-03-03T17:18:18.386-08:002012-03-03T17:18:18.386-08:00My mantra is I am the Southern Belle from Hell tha...My mantra is I am the Southern Belle from Hell that doesn't have a tumor on my humor. Vitamin K keeps our marriage relatively calm. Manic Depression is low hanging fruit in my family, but no one acknowledges it. I'm 45, started meds about 20 years ago, and wished my Irish family would have said something to me. Like when I went in to get ECT ( for the 2nd go)- my aunt tells me, your Grandma had that done in the late 60's. She could have told me that 35 shock treatments before. I am the bipolar bear! You crack me up with your acerbic sense of humor. Ta!Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07950393443903974863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-27070402398982945402012-01-05T22:00:20.532-08:002012-01-05T22:00:20.532-08:00You have described, very eloquently, the entire ex...You have described, very eloquently, the entire experience. And, you also described the attempt to control. I wish more people would be so honest about their difficulties. I think we would find that there is no actual "normal". Thank you for your candor.Justmehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12559242700373401616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4433738082974955694.post-60189777930539188222011-11-17T14:36:48.660-08:002011-11-17T14:36:48.660-08:00It really is the hardest thing in the world to let...It really is the hardest thing in the world to let go of that feeling, but I have a tendency to destroy relationships if I don't. I've had to hurt people's feelings by telling them I can't speak to them while I'm manic. ((My advice to them is silence is better than what would come out of my mouth if I did speak, so take the few weeks of silence and wounded feelings. We'll be happier in the end and the wounds won't be fatal... as they would have been had I kept running my mouth.))<br /><br />Never mind how bad the other side sucks. I'll be there soon enough. <br /><br />Great blog. I'm hooked.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com